Transition From Old To New

As my husband and I began to focus on the positive aspects of what we really wanted in our lives, it turned out that what emerged as the most important thing had nothing to do with what we were grieving over having lost due to his illness such as golf, travel, a fast-paced life-style. For us, relationships - with each other, with our family, and with our friends - were at the top of our list of things that would bring us the fulfillment and life satisfaction that we wanted in whatever time we had left together.

The grace that came with the dramatic change in our lives was learning the wisdom of accepting that which cannot be changed, focusing on things that uplifted us, and savoring the change that occurred deep within both of us.

We knew clearly what we valued, and as we began living our values, we experienced the joy that comes with living in integrity with our values. Our thoughts, our words, and our actions were reflecting that which was most important to us. What a blessing that experience was for us. What grace.

The danger for all of us when we are in crisis is that the stress of the situation has the potential to feel so great that anxiety, depression, and despondency can easily take over. But, in these times of change, there is also an opportunity, and the opportunity is one of metamorphosis. Just as the caterpillar becomes encased in a chrysalis in which it actually liquefies before emerging as a graceful, beautiful butterfly, we too have to die to our old life. For only then can we make the transition from the person we were to the self of authentic wisdom, compassion, and true strength.

With greatest love and respect for you, Donna Daisy

Finding Grace In Change

Some of the great challenges to our ability to be happy often come in the form of major life changes. Many of us have experienced life altering changes such as a job loss, the death of a spouse, a divorce, financial disaster, or major health problems. In the blink of an eye, everything has changed. We have been forced to give up what we love, yet have no idea of how life will be after the change.

When my husband first became ill, and we realized that he would probably not recover, it felt like our world had crashed around us. This man who had been active all of his life as a family physician and an ardent golfer was unable to walk and found himself confined to a wheelchair with little motivation to leave the house. How could this have happened to us? How were we going to regroup and rise above these things that were happening to us. How would we find the joy and the warm feelings that we had known when we were now mired in the sadness of our current sitution?

But as we began to think about what is really important in life, new insights began to happen and, gradually, a new approach to life was born. We made the decision to spend the rest of our lives living, not dying. With this perspective, life became more precious, and loved ones become more treasured.

With greatest love and respect for you, Donna Daisy

Where Do You Place Your Attention

Whether you are thinking about the past, the present, or the future, what you feel right now is your life.

In reality, all of us could experience more happiness in our lives - - and very quickly - - by simply shifting that to which we give our attention. When we pay more attention to the things that make us feel good, rather than the things that make us fearful, insecure or angry, we have the opportunity to experience joyous feelings on a continuous basis.

If you focus on the good stuff, you feel good. If you focus on the bad stuff, you feel bad. It's that simple.

Despite this "knowing," however, many of us still find value in utilizing supplemental strategies and exercises that will help us achieve a more fulfilling, satisfying life. Try examining your beliefs about what it will take for you to be happy. Ask yourself, "What is getting in the way of me taking responsibility for my happiness?

Habitual behaviors can get in the way of happiness. Some of these behaviors are complaining about what is wrong in your life, blaming others for your difficulties, being overly hard on yourself, and focusing more on the negative in your life than on what is positive. Ask yourself, "Am I ready to take charge of my own happiness regardless of my circumstances?" When you can answer with an unqualified "yes," you are ready to experience unconditional happiness.

With greatest love and respect for you, Donna Daisy

Your Inner Being

All of us have beliefs about why we function the way we do. My personal belief is that at the core of each of us is an Inner Being that is, at its essence, pure joy and wisdom. This Inner Being is what we sometimes call our soul or our spirit. It is always seeking happiness for you, and its mission - a simple one - is to provide the guidance that will lead you towards a joyous life - a gift for you and a gift for the universe. Your Inner Being is in direct contact with you through your emotions. When your thoughts, words, and actions are moving in a direction that will bring you joy, you experience positive emotions. When you have negative emotions, however, that means that your thoughts, words, and actions are taking you away from that which will bring you happiness.

Are you familiar with what we call "intuition" - - those feelings in your gut that seem to be telling you that you should or shouldn't do something? This is your Inner Being (some call it your Soul) communicating with you through your feelings. Even though most of us don't communicate with our Inner Being through a dialogue of words, you Inner Being is still able to serve as a phenomenal navigation system using your emotions to alert you to what is going on. So, if you are feeling angry, anxious, or fearful, your Emotions Guidance System is trying to tell you that what you are thinking, saying, or doing is taking you in the wrong direction and away from happiness. If, on the other hand, you are feeling content or even exhilarated, you know that you are acting in alignment with your Inner Being, and you are on a path to happiness.

With greatest love and respect for you, Donna Daisy

It's All About Perspective

The perspective you choose will determine whether you use your challenging life experiences as opportunities for growth and recommitment to your vision for your life, or as a reason to simply give up on your hopes and dreams.

People who are happy don't necessarily have less adversity in their lives than others. They simply have learned that it's all about their self-talk. Everyone has preferences. We would prefer to keep our jobs (usually). We would prefer to be in good health. We would prefer to have the perfect family. But until those things occur, we must keep our eyes on the real goal, which is enjoyment of life right now.

Unfortunately, quite a few of us succumb to the victim mindset that tells us, "He is making me unhappy," or "my age is making me unhappy," or "my job is making me unhappy." It's always some external factor - - presumably outside our control - - that makes us unhappy. Try suspending that belief. Consider instead that your success in life and your happiness level are directly tied to your thoughts and the actions you take as a result of those thoughts.

With greatest love and respect for you, Donna Daisy

Happiness Is A Choice

Admittedly, the idea that happiness is a choice, rather than contingent on what is going on in your life, is a little daunting and takes some getting used to. The payoff for accepting this belief, however, is huge.

I recentlyh met with a young woman - - let's call her Sally - - and listened to her story about all the things in her life that were preventing her from being happy. Her brothers verbally abused her since childhood, and even as adults, they are cruel, unkind, and emotionally distant when they communicate. Of her three children, only one maintains a warm and loving relationship with her. The others she rarely hears from.

Both her mother and father, who adored her as a child, have passed away. Sally not only felt alienated from her family, she had extremely negative self-talk. She told herself, "I am worthless. It's all my fault that my brothers treat me the way they do." At times, Sally was so distraught that she believed the world would be better off without her. She was allowing her happiness to be robbed by her own negative thoughts and by the actions and opinions of others.

What Sally had not yet realized was this: It's not what happens to you in life that matters. What matters is your perspective - - what you tell yourself about what happens.

With greatest love and respect for you,Donna Daisy

Unconditional Happiness

Most of us are pretty well entrenched in beliefs that tell us "happiness isn't possible until I get my health back" or "happiness isn't possible as long as I have to live in this crowded little apartment," or happiness isn't possible until I find my soul-mate." The reality is that while each of those conditions that you place upon your happiness may represent a strong personal desire, none of them have the power to make you unhappy - - unless you give them permission to do so.

Ask yourself this question, "Do I want to be happy?" When you can answer that question "yes" without any qualifiers (such as "I will be happy just as soon as I lose 30 pounds,") then you are ready to experience unconditional happiness every minute of the day. You are ready to be happy regardless of your circumstances. You are ready to be happy now!

With greatest love and respect for you,Donna Daisy

The Choice Is Made By You

Most of the time, when I suggest to someone that it is possible to be happy all the time, the response I get is, "Are you out of your mind?" People cite reasons like fear of job loss, the poor economy, money woes, a list of other worries as reasons they can't possibly maintain a happy state. Philosopher Peter Russell once said, "The sad joke about all human beings is that we spend so much time worrying about whether we are going to be happy in the future, we are never at peace in the present." In other words, we miss the opportunity to be happy now because we are afraid we won't be happy tomorrow.

As a life coach, I talk with a lot of people who are experiencing very little happiness or joy in their lives. I used to find myself wondering, "Are there basic differences between the people who are happy most of the time and those who are unhappy most of the time?" And if so, what are those differences, and how do you overcome them if you are one of the unhappy ones?"

Over the last few years, I have come to realize that happiness (or unhappiness) isn't caused by other people in our lives. Nor is it caused by a particular set of circumstances. The choice to be happy or not is made by you even though you may not always realize it.

With great love and respect for you, Donna Daisy

Creating Satisfying Life Experiences

I believe that we are all capable of long, rich and satisfying life experiences. But the ability to remain happy, especially in times of adversity, requires the conscious use of some very specific life skills, including choosing the perspective through which we view the things that happen to us.

Each day we have the choice to "be happy when - - " or be happy now. My book, Why Wait? Be Happy Now! is not a book of theories about how to be happy. It is about training your mind to think in a way that generates good feelings (Part I) and training your heart to function from a place of love (Part II.) With this book, you will learn how to achieve and maintain happiness using very specific, well-researched strategies that worked for me, even in the darkest of times, and have proven successful for coaching clients and readers of mine as well.

It is about being happy now - - unconditionally. It is about a sustainable happiness that can never be taken away because of your circumstances. My desire is to share with you the mindset, the heartset, and the strategies that helped to make each and every day of the four years of my husband's illness some of the best days of our life together.

I am confident that as you come to better understand the incredible power you have to live above the line that separates happiness from unhappiness, you will easily create the joyous, abundant, and loving life you desire and deserve.

With greatest love and respect for you, Donna Daisy

Our Story

I would like to share a personal story with you - - the story of the four years of my life that led me to write my book, Why Wait? Be Happy Now!

My husband, Charles, developed an infection in both of his legs, resulting in his confinement to a wheelchair, and eventually, the amputation of his right leg. I became a full time caregiver as we worked together to manage his health issues. We both recognized that if we adopted the mindset that, "We will be happy when Charles gets better," or "We will be happy when Charles can walk again," we would miss the opportunity for many delightful moments, and the closeness we often shared as we worked together to get through those challenging times.

So, rather than saying, "We'll be happy when - - " we chose a new motto: "Why wait? Be happy now!" We weren't going to allow our happiness to depend on conditions that were outside of our control.

I lost my husband in September of 2009, but I will always cherish the choice we made to be happy together, right then, in the present moment.

With greatest love and respect for you, Donna Daisy

Our Circumstances Do Not Define Us

Think about how many times you have said to yourself, "I will be happy when I retire in ten years. That is when life will really be good!" Or, I will be happy when I get a different job." Or when my husband gets his act together. Or when the kids grow up. Or when I get that promotion at work.

It is so easy to postpone today's happiness on the belief that when your situation changes, your level of happiness will also change. So often we believe that our circumstances, and not us, are in control of how happy we are. In reality, our circumstances do not define our happiness. What does define our happiness is what we tell ourselves about our circumstances, and the choices we make as a result.

With greatest love and respect for you, Donna Daisy

New Book

My book, Why Wait? Be Happy Now! has been published. Check it out on my website www.donnadaisy.com

With great love and respect for you,
Donna Daisy